- Why pushing through works… until it doesn't.


My mom walked into the room the other day and said,

"Your dad isn't doing well. His lower back hurts a lot. We might have to cancel our vacation."

An hour later my dad sent me a message.

"We've cancelled the trip."

Photo by Martin Kallur (IG: @mkallur) on Unsplash

Two days before they were supposed to leave.

The back pain had started only a couple of weeks earlier.

Or perhaps not. Perhaps it had started years ago. Years of taking care of things that needed doing.

Trees in the village needed tending.

Grandchildren needed looking after.

The football World Cup couldn't be missed.

And somewhere in between all of that… his own body quietly waited.

It waited for attention.

It waited for rest.

It waited to be listened to.

Until one day, it could no longer wait.

Back to you now

Now let me ask you something.

Where are you reading this from?

Between meetings?

While eating lunch in front of your computer?

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Taking a short break from work before going back to the next task?

I'm not asking to judge you.

I'm asking because I know this feeling.

Perhaps you've recently caught yourself saying things like:

"I'll just push through this deadline."

"This busy period will be over soon."

"I'll go back to the gym once work settles down."

"I'll start painting... after this project."

"I'll rest later."

But when exactly is later?

Try this.

Open your calendar. Find a day and an hour. Schedule something that exists purely for you.

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Not because it is productive.

Not because it helps your career.

Not because someone else expects it from you.

Simply because it makes you feel alive.

Was that surprisingly difficult? If so, you're not alone.

You are not alone

I remember being exactly there.  Even during my lunch break… I wasn't really resting.

Even during Pilates… part of my mind was still working.

There was always a quiet voice saying:

"You're not doing enough."

"You're falling behind."

"You should be working."

Looking back now, I realise something important.

My body had forgotten how to switch off.

The science behind that switch

Neuroscience has a name for this.

Our nervous system constantly moves between two complementary states.

One is the sympathetic nervous system.

This is our action system. It helps us focus. Solve problems, meet deadlines, react quickly. Without it, we would struggle to achieve anything.

Photo by Ananya Dutta Photography

The other is the parasympathetic nervous system.

This is the restoration system. It slows the heart. Deepens the breath. Supports digestion. Promotes sleep. Allows tissues to repair. Strengthens the immune system.

Photo by Ananya Dutta Photography

Neither system is "better."

We need both.

The problem begins when we remain in action mode for weeks, months, or even years, without giving the body enough opportunities to restore itself.

One of the body's main pathways into this restorative state is through the vagus nerve, a large nerve connecting the brain with the heart, lungs, and digestive system.

Slow breathing.

Long exhalations.

Gentle movement.

Moments of safety.

These all increase vagal activity and help shift the nervous system toward regulation. In other words, the body needs moments where it feels allowed to stop.

The quiet power of the body

But many of us have become so good at pushing through that stopping feels uncomfortable. Sometimes even frightening. We don't know what to do with an empty afternoon.

Rest starts feeling like laziness. 

Joy starts feeling unproductive.

Doing nothing creates anxiety.

So we keep going. Until the body interrupts us.

Sometimes quietly.

A stiff neck. A tight jaw. A painful shoulder. Lower back pain. Poor sleep. Digestive issues.

Sometimes more loudly.

Exhaustion. Burnout. Illness.

The body rarely starts by shouting. It usually whispers first.

To connect to movement

This is why I care so deeply about Dance, Movement & Breathing.

Not because movement solves everything.

But because it teaches the body something many of us have forgotten:

How to move out of constant doing.

How to breathe deeply again.

How to shift from effort into restoration.

How to feel safe enough to relax.

In Dance, Movement & Breathing, I combine breathing practices that support vagus nerve activation with the harmonious movement principles of Margaret Morris Movement.

Photo by Ananya Dutta Photography

Together, they nourish the body in two complementary ways: physically, by improving mobility, coordination, and posture; and neurologically, by helping restore the balance between action and rest.

Over time, these practices become skills.

You no longer need to wait until your body forces you to stop.

You begin recognising the early signals.

And you respond with care instead of pushing through.


A gentle invitation

If this article felt familiar...

if you've been living in "just one more thing" mode for longer than you'd like...

I'd love to offer you a simple place to begin.

Send me a message, and I'll happily share a free guided breathing audio to help you experience what it feels like to activate your body's natural relaxation response.

And if you're ready to go deeper, my Dance, Movement & Breathing Retreat in Crete is designed exactly for this.

A few days away from constant doing.

A chance to breathe, move, restore, and reconnect with yourself before your body has to ask more loudly.

Sometimes the most productive thing we can do...

is to stop pushing through.

—

Dr. Katerina Kandylaki